The Weather Man - Cloudy with a chance of depression

The Weather Man (2005) Dir - Gore Verbinski

Gore Verbinski, what a man. Having managed to pull himself away from Johnny Depp for 5 minutes, he set his eyes a little lower than the epic fantasy-pirate adventure he's become well known for (Mousehunt (1997) having been long swept under the carpet. Poor Lee Evans) and directed something of a standard city-drama. Especially surprising after his terrible remake of Hideo Nakata's Ringu (1998). He's generally been a hit and miss director, saving his skin with the Pirate's of the Carribean series. That said however, he's obviously been reading from the Book of Great Directors and has taken their first commandment to heart. "Thou shalt milk any successful franchise dry." Spot the recurring theme? I wonder how many sequels Rango is going to get...

"I managed to fit all my good films in
this tiny box!"

What was I doing....? Oh yeah. The Weather Man. The cast was brilliant, that much can be said from the off. Nicholas Cage pulls off another role (this time wannabe national weatherman David Spritz) with subtle dignity despite his clumsiness and is genuinely one of the best things about this movie. He's something of a Marmite actor, leaving you wanting more or forcing you to scrape your tongue with the nearest sharp edge, making you gag because everyone knows what happens when you rub your tongue too vigorously. It's something of an over-extended metaphor but you catch my drift. I can put my hand on my heart and say I disliked Nicholas Cage until I saw Lord of War (2005), which was filmed almost in parallel with this film. Con Air (1997) was empty, relying too much on John Malkovich. Then again, National Treasure (2004) was like an abortion to the face so I can't complain too much about Con Air. Anyway, he shares a lot in common with the director. Liable to make hit and miss movies. I'll move on on this note; you really did feel for him in this movie. He did a great job.

Next came his onscreen wife, Hope Davis of The Matador (2005) and About Schmidt (2002) fame. I'm more than willing to admit I knew little about this woman beyond those two titles, but IMDb tells me she has quite a career to her name. She's worked with Anthony Hopkins, Sigourney Weaver, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sandra Bullock and Jeff Bridges, so that's at least 3 other good actors. In this film though, she seemed rather wooden. Her character was admittedly in constant turmoil, but she seemed to deal with it in one of two ways. Shouting or going cold. Even with these there was no middle ground. Rubber-stamp acting anyone?

Michael You're-Only-Supposed-To-Blow-The-Bloody-Doors-Off Caine was honestly spectacular in his role as Robert Spritz, David's father. He's getting on a bit now, but he refuses to step down from the pedastal of 'Infallible National Treasure' (not the film, that was easily more than fallible). I suspect his last character will be filmed on his deathbed, and you know what? He'll do a good job of it. As careers go, the only word I can think of to describe his is 'consistant'. Even in his recent 2009 film Harry Brown he is unmovable as a character. Then, to see the actor himself in interviews he is the same person, but so different. Why is it that there is a Book Of Great Directors, but no Book of Great Actors? I want to see a generation of incredible onscreen actors, not a generation of actors trying to get the spotlight by being as different as possible. Maybe the problem nowadays is that kids see the spotlight of great actors and expect to just explode into Hollywood. Go back a few decades and there was no such thing as Disney Channel stereotypes pouring their childish (what I assume to be) whimsy into your face, showing you that you too can be a hit singer with a record label aged 7. Michael Caine fought in the Korean war for Christ's sake! He worked his ass off in menial jobs before getting a break as a stage manager when he came back from combat. He wasn't some rich teenager whose parents were living through him. He has more than a lifetime of experience to dwell on and the day he dies will be a very sad one, if hopefully a very long off one.

This says it all.

Nicholas Hoult has weird eyebrows and honestly it mystifies me how he's even become this successful. I haven't believed a single character he's ever played, be it in About a Boy (2002), Clash of the Mythologically Inaccurate Crap (2010), or Brit teen-drama (the first of it's kind) Skins. He is just awful and I wish I wasn't the only one to notice this. He is also like Marmite, but instead of the choice you just jump to immediately gagging on your own tongue. It sounds harsh, but I don't give a damn. This boy is the same character in everything he has ever done and even then it isn't believable. You would have hoped that with such extensive practice he could have at least got that one down. However, all this said, he suited the character of a broken child who can't defend himself from himself or anyone. Maybe because that is him. I suppose casting should be congratulated on that one at least.

The plot is where this drops out of brilliance. Described as 'Bright and breezy, with sunny intervals.' by NOW (Aren't you clever NOW? You managed to make a pun based on the weather! Want to roll over so I can rub your tummy? Who's a good boy! It's you! Yes you are!), and 'A fresh and quirky comedy. **** ' by The Sunday Mirror. Well as I said in the title with disdainful parody of the so-called wit of NOW, nothing about this is comedic. Ok, that's a lie, it is funny in parts, but those parts are so filled with depression they hardly cut through it. It's like being forced to eat a bowl of limes and someone offering you a lemon to take the edge off. I have a horrifically dark sense of humour, but I couldn't find it funny. You know where they say "All the funny bits are in the trailer"? Never has this been more true. I bought the film based on the trailer and persuaded Grizzly (my co-writer) and a couple of our friends to watch it only to find us suicidal by the end of the film. I even showed them the trailer from the DVD to show them why I bought it and they agreed. Do not be fooled by its light-hearted family-comedy appearances but take a look for yourself:

You could be forgiven for wanting to see this comedy. It looks hysterical and looks like it has a feel-good vibe. I don't want to go into spoilers, but everything bad happens to this man. Nothing at any point will cheer him up because nothing he does amounts to anything but someone else hurting him or feeling hurt. He hits absolutely rock bottom and when you think to yourself "Well, it will pick up now and everything will be sorted", the film ends. This is a genuinely godawful comedy. I have never seen a worse comedy, and my parents once forced me to watch Catherine Tate doing a Christmas Special.

Here's the twist. This is a brilliant film. Deep, impacting and dry, going where no other drama of the age has tried to go. That's the problem. Marketing. Had this been advertised as an emotional drama of a man striving for the best for his family against all odds, this would have disappointed no-one and pushed into cinema history I think as a great example of hard-hitting film. It forces you to stare personal agony in the face, and it should be commended for that. But this is NOT a comedy. I can't stress that enough.

 By all means, go out and watch this film as a serious piece of drama with a few pick-me-up comedy lines, but watch it as a comedy and I promise your evening will end with you either redecorating your wall with your internal organs care of a firearm, or it will end a short drop and a sharp stop care of your belt and a light fitting.

Apologies

Due to unforseen circumstances, I might not be able to post for a while. That doesn't mean I won't try though. I'll try as hard as Michael Cera in any of the films he's been in.

Hellboy 2: The Golden Army; Mythical Creatures and Big Guns - It's Fantasy With Attitude.

Hellboy; The Golden Army (2008). Dir - Guillermo del Toro

Many readers may not actually be aware of Guillermo del Toro’s work, but even to those who aren’t, the style-wonder that is Pan’s Labyrinth is bound to ring a few bells and Hellboy is definitely going to be familiar. I have always been a fan of Guillermo del Toro's, as a man as much as a director. For one, his movie and comic book collections are so large that he bought a whole extra home to accommodate them. If that’s not an awesome achievement I don’t know what is. Casting that aside however, I particularly respect him for Hellboy. Del Toro turned down the likes of I Am Legend, Blade: Trinity, AVP and both Harry Potter; The Prisoner of Azkaban and The Half Blood Prince to direct Hellboy and its sequel, The Golden Army, proving that, unlike his money-orientated peers, he holds a genuine passion for movies – and I like that. Unlike Spielburg and his ilk, I would happily take del Toro to the pub. Or to the movies. Or to meet my parents. I have the utmost respect for a man who holds on to his ideals and passions rather than, as my movie accomplice so aptly put it, ‘milking a franchise dry.’ In fact, del Toro goes further than that and actually speaks openly against directing for any motive other than passion saying; “if you're not operating on an instinctive level, you're not an artist.... Reason over emotion is bullsh*t, absolute bullsh*t...”

Anyway, literary leg-humping aside…

Hellboy 2; The Golden Army takes place an unspecified time after the first, an unspecified time in which Hellboy, with his fishy friend Abe Sapian and the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defence have established themselves in the public eye as some form of vigilante fighting force. Gone is the need for John Myers, Hellboy’s make-sure-you-take-care-and-don’t-get-caught taker, who was apparently assigned to some random post in a desolate place, designed specifically for the thousands of original-film characters that needed somewhere to go to justify their absence in their sequels. Unlike so many other sequels though – Yes, I’m still looking at you XXX2 - John Myer’s fairly substantial character’s absence deals no injury to the movie and is actually explained half-decently, even adding something to the characters discourse in an ‘oh-Hellboy-you’re-so-red-and-possessive-but-still-oddly-cute-and-adorable’ way that viewers of the original movie will appreciate. The Russian magician and his Chaos gods have gone too, as has the dust-filled uber-assassin with his shiny knife twirling and his immortal, re-birthing daemon dog, replaced by one Prince Nuada - an albino, arch-conservative with some different shiny knife twirling - and his sidekick, Mr Wink. Hellboy himself is obviously still in it, as is his girlfriend – though now she’s sporting a rather unflattering emo do – along with Abe Sapian. However despite his obvious right to do so, Hellboy has still not upgraded his name, perhaps because of a deep- set aversion to mayonnaise after a bad experience as an ickle baby daemon.

The movie itself is fairly strong; the plot is solid with a good level of the usual film conflict and problems, strong character types and enough of del Toro’s unique (remarkably amber) style and simple humour to keep the film’s ‘old conservative views are awesome, but probably out-dated in the modern world’ message a simple underlying issue rather than a pretentious thing that irritates you profusely like a sprayed fly that just refuses to die. In fact, the message serves the Prince well, giving him an effective anti-hero aspect that makes him more than one of the two dimensional fantasy villains wanting world domination that plague many movies of the same genre. The humour itself pokes his head up regularly through ‘Red’s’ cynical, immature, macho guy-ism, his abrasive behaviour and wanton lust for big guns and inappropriate levels of violence – he’s a man’s man. This humour finalises itself brilliantly with a wonderful bromanctic scene of a drunk Abe and Hellboy singing a tune-less rendition of the classic ‘I can’t smile without you’’ that somehow fails to appear out of place in its context and will make every guy think quietly to himself ‘I know how they feel…sad sniff’. Just because of this though, don’t think it’s a guy’s movie. There’s just enough emotional turmoil, sudden turns of emotion, soppy people, intrigue, cute little sentiments and love to entertain your lady friends out there and Hellboy’s girlfriend has just the right level of ‘girl power’ to make women feel worth something whilst not making the guy’s feel uncomfortable with such an unnatural thought.

To sum up, I recommend Hellboy ; The Golden Army to anyone who enjoyed the first (and recommend the first to any who haven’t seen it). Unlike so many sequels, Ron Perlman’s second outing as the red, lovesick daemon child of the United States Army with a serious cigar habit mighty pecs and imperceptible nipples is just as entertaining as the first, with Luke Goss’ Prince Nuada offering a brilliant opposing role with a believable chemistry and motivation and of course, twirly knife tricks.