Apologies

Due to unforseen circumstances, I might not be able to post for a while. That doesn't mean I won't try though. I'll try as hard as Michael Cera in any of the films he's been in.

Hellboy 2: The Golden Army; Mythical Creatures and Big Guns - It's Fantasy With Attitude.

Hellboy; The Golden Army (2008). Dir - Guillermo del Toro

Many readers may not actually be aware of Guillermo del Toro’s work, but even to those who aren’t, the style-wonder that is Pan’s Labyrinth is bound to ring a few bells and Hellboy is definitely going to be familiar. I have always been a fan of Guillermo del Toro's, as a man as much as a director. For one, his movie and comic book collections are so large that he bought a whole extra home to accommodate them. If that’s not an awesome achievement I don’t know what is. Casting that aside however, I particularly respect him for Hellboy. Del Toro turned down the likes of I Am Legend, Blade: Trinity, AVP and both Harry Potter; The Prisoner of Azkaban and The Half Blood Prince to direct Hellboy and its sequel, The Golden Army, proving that, unlike his money-orientated peers, he holds a genuine passion for movies – and I like that. Unlike Spielburg and his ilk, I would happily take del Toro to the pub. Or to the movies. Or to meet my parents. I have the utmost respect for a man who holds on to his ideals and passions rather than, as my movie accomplice so aptly put it, ‘milking a franchise dry.’ In fact, del Toro goes further than that and actually speaks openly against directing for any motive other than passion saying; “if you're not operating on an instinctive level, you're not an artist.... Reason over emotion is bullsh*t, absolute bullsh*t...”

Anyway, literary leg-humping aside…

Hellboy 2; The Golden Army takes place an unspecified time after the first, an unspecified time in which Hellboy, with his fishy friend Abe Sapian and the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defence have established themselves in the public eye as some form of vigilante fighting force. Gone is the need for John Myers, Hellboy’s make-sure-you-take-care-and-don’t-get-caught taker, who was apparently assigned to some random post in a desolate place, designed specifically for the thousands of original-film characters that needed somewhere to go to justify their absence in their sequels. Unlike so many other sequels though – Yes, I’m still looking at you XXX2 - John Myer’s fairly substantial character’s absence deals no injury to the movie and is actually explained half-decently, even adding something to the characters discourse in an ‘oh-Hellboy-you’re-so-red-and-possessive-but-still-oddly-cute-and-adorable’ way that viewers of the original movie will appreciate. The Russian magician and his Chaos gods have gone too, as has the dust-filled uber-assassin with his shiny knife twirling and his immortal, re-birthing daemon dog, replaced by one Prince Nuada - an albino, arch-conservative with some different shiny knife twirling - and his sidekick, Mr Wink. Hellboy himself is obviously still in it, as is his girlfriend – though now she’s sporting a rather unflattering emo do – along with Abe Sapian. However despite his obvious right to do so, Hellboy has still not upgraded his name, perhaps because of a deep- set aversion to mayonnaise after a bad experience as an ickle baby daemon.

The movie itself is fairly strong; the plot is solid with a good level of the usual film conflict and problems, strong character types and enough of del Toro’s unique (remarkably amber) style and simple humour to keep the film’s ‘old conservative views are awesome, but probably out-dated in the modern world’ message a simple underlying issue rather than a pretentious thing that irritates you profusely like a sprayed fly that just refuses to die. In fact, the message serves the Prince well, giving him an effective anti-hero aspect that makes him more than one of the two dimensional fantasy villains wanting world domination that plague many movies of the same genre. The humour itself pokes his head up regularly through ‘Red’s’ cynical, immature, macho guy-ism, his abrasive behaviour and wanton lust for big guns and inappropriate levels of violence – he’s a man’s man. This humour finalises itself brilliantly with a wonderful bromanctic scene of a drunk Abe and Hellboy singing a tune-less rendition of the classic ‘I can’t smile without you’’ that somehow fails to appear out of place in its context and will make every guy think quietly to himself ‘I know how they feel…sad sniff’. Just because of this though, don’t think it’s a guy’s movie. There’s just enough emotional turmoil, sudden turns of emotion, soppy people, intrigue, cute little sentiments and love to entertain your lady friends out there and Hellboy’s girlfriend has just the right level of ‘girl power’ to make women feel worth something whilst not making the guy’s feel uncomfortable with such an unnatural thought.

To sum up, I recommend Hellboy ; The Golden Army to anyone who enjoyed the first (and recommend the first to any who haven’t seen it). Unlike so many sequels, Ron Perlman’s second outing as the red, lovesick daemon child of the United States Army with a serious cigar habit mighty pecs and imperceptible nipples is just as entertaining as the first, with Luke Goss’ Prince Nuada offering a brilliant opposing role with a believable chemistry and motivation and of course, twirly knife tricks.